A protest march at Camp Bestival has left the authorities on a heightened state of alert as scores of banner-wielding members of the middle classes made their way across the middle of the site this afternoon.
It’s suspected that the revolt may have been spearheaded by a small group of fundamentalists who’d been galvanised into positive action after spending three days immersed in the dub-fueled exhaust fumes of the battered Morris Minor used by middle class warriors Sly and Reggie, who had used the trusty (if rusty) car to bring their intellectually challenging rhetoric down from the suburban jungle of Dulwich to the fertile fields of Lulworth.
Sly and Reggie‘s middle class sound system has been annoying the neighbours in south east London for the last few years, but it is believed that this is the first time that their unique brand of ambivalent social commentary has led to such scenes of social unrest.
There is however some confusion at this stage about exactly what the protestors demands entail.
Whilst Sly and Reggie‘s songs focus on subjects as diverse as Nick Clegg‘s failure to become the UK’s most influential politician of his generation, the collected works of Kingsley and Martin Amis, and the need to remember that cutlery etiquette varies from culture to culture, those at the front of the demonstration were heard to be chanting ‘more wheels for hamsters’.
Festival boss Rob da Bank was unavailable for comment as this news broke, but a statement is expected later tonight.