Do you have GLASTric flu?

So you didn't get a Glasto ticket then? Well you're in the majority and MajorityRules, so don't feel too bad about it. VF sympathises with you though and in doing so we've attempted to soothe your woes with some tricks on how you can get over the massive bereavement of missing 'The Best Festival In The World'. Below are your options:

Recreate the old fence jumping Glasto - Find a squat, get a TV, but don't pay the for a licence. Steal some cider from Tescos and watch the highlights on the telly eating hash cakes. This should help numb the pain, but watching Coldplay could make you cry anyway. Pouring cold water over yourself is optional.

Get a ticket - The trickiest way to enjoy Glasto now that all of them have gone, but there's a few ways:
- Move to Pilton. Every year, local residents get free tickets for the event. Become a local and you may just get in. But be quick!
- Play there. Become Snow Patrol's new bassist, Keane's guitarist or New Order's female saxophonist. Use your initiative. As Bez has proved, you don't need to be musically talented to perform at Glasto.
- Marry into the family. Emily Eavis is still yet to be snapped up, but we're quite confident her man of the moment will have access to all areas over the course of the weekend. Be. That. Man.
- Dress as a cow. Could be a little hard, since most of the farm animals are removed off the site. But still, cow's ARE known for their ability to scale 20 foot high steel fences, so it's worth a shot.
- Do charity stuff. Work? Yes. But for charity. See Wateraid and Oxfam's websites for info on stewarding.
- Win one. VF's Dream Summer competition could be just what you need to brighten up the months ahead. Click here.

Go someplace else - Just because Glasto's out the window, it doesn't mean you have to miss out on the best bands in the world and the very finest of fine British weather. We've picked several of the best OTHER festivals in the world for you to try:

Name: Coachella
Date: 30 April - 1 May
Situated on the edge of the Mojave Desert, right near wonderful Palm Springs, California's love dream rock festival has Coldplay, Keane, NIN, Chemicals Brothers and countless other huge acts. It's clean, it's guaranteed hot, and the people are LA beautiful. Forget filthy blankets and smelly hippies, this is the world's biggest A-list outdoor music event! Read last year's coverage and find out more here.

Name: Benicassim
Date: 5-8 August
VF's European festival of choice since forever, this is situated a couple of hours between Barcelona and Valencia on the east coast of Spain. On a beach. Near a waterpark. Near a go-kart track. Yes. It runs from 4pm through the night until 6am and will again feature the finest bands in the world. Stay tuned for the line-up announcement. Find out more and check our previous coverage here.

Name: Iceland Airwaves
Dates: October
For the thick-skinned/dermotologically-challenged among you, Iceland Airwaves boasts the most cultural relevant location of any festival - Reykjavik. A five-day urban festival set in between the geysers and gaping canyons of Iceland, it's a feast of traditional Iceland metal and electro and the best new European and American bands. Check out previous coverage here and stay tuned for line-up announcements.

Name: Exit
Dates: 7-10 July
A relatively new festival in Serbia headlined this year by Underworld. If you thought the pound goes a long way in the USA, then outside the EU just several hours from Belgrade, you could buy a slave and a palace for the price of a Happy Meal. It's been described as 'the only other festival in the world that compares to Glasto'. You can camp for 5 Euros a day, while a top of the range hotel is about £30 a night. Yes. Hello Easyjet.

Name: Rocket Festival
Dates: 29 April-1 May
It kicks off in just over four weeks time and is the first festival of its kind, set in the Andalucian mountains of southern Spain. It's exceptionally cheap (as are the flights) and your chance to get a suntan before anyone else, as well as getting down to the likes of Krafty Kuts and Freestylers as you learn to speak Spanish with roaming mountain goats. Be part of the start of something good. Click here for more info and tickets.

Now if this little lot doesn't help you, then clearly you're too difficult to please and thus don't deserve to go to Glasto anyway!