The Homelands Interviews: Loose Cannons

Is this your first time at Homelands or have you been as punters before?

KS:      I've been a few years ago, I can't remember which year it was but it was the year I got really mashed and didn't see any bands.

So it wasn't the year of the rain, then?

KS:      No, I did that at Glastonbury . I think it was in '97 at Glastonbury - wellies and up to the knees in mud. Mental! When it made the Daily Mail. And if you can make the Daily Mail and you're not Bin Laden then you've done something right.

So you're festival veterans, then?

KS:      Oh yeah! We've been as journalists. Only to get press passes.

LF:       We interviewed Ice T at V98!

KS:      That was the first official Loose Cannons engagement in fact. We became the Loose Canons at V98. Some bloke from a magazine that we won't name - Blues and Soul - he didn't want to go to the festival himself so he said, "Look you have the tickets. You interview Ice T. Take pictures of James Brown. Give us the interview and you can have backstage passes. So we went and interviewed Ice T - I've only got one his tunes from ages ago on a tape and we sat there for ages on his bus. We had a right laugh.

LF:       We were given fifteen minutes to interview him. We were with him for an hour and a quarter.

You seem to be proper rock 'n' rollers. Any messy bits on the tour so far?

KS:      It's the first day of the tour so give us a chance! But we did have a drink this morning at 9am. I bought vodka at 8am and was drinking by 9. How rock 'n' roll is that?

And is this level of debauchery likely to continue into the evening?

 KS:     I'm going to bed early, mum. (laughs) I am going to bed early but just not on my own. In all honesty, playing festivals is something I've wanted to do since coming here as a kid. I've always wanted to do a festival show. The good thing about going on early on the bill - there's not many - but the one really good thing is that you get it out of the way and then you can get properly shitfaced with a proper VIP bar. Which, let's be honest, is what we're all after at the end of the day.

What's the deal with the masks?

LF:       Basically I saw some article about 'lady masks' and we went online to look at them because we thought the band in lady masks would be a bit tasty then we found out the price was a bit tasty. So went to sillyjokes.com and bought some kids' masks. We thought they look suitably moody. I tried it on in front of my girlfriend and she screamed when I came in from the bathroom with it on. I thought that's an arena look right there!

And what's the inspiration for your on-stage moves?

KS:      Did we mention James Brown? 'Cos he had nothing to do with it! It was largely watching re-runs of rainbow on UK living couple with choice movements I stole from Jarvis Cocker. And occasional bits of the Lambada and Macerana. Anything with at least three syllables I can do.

Who would perform at your very own festival?

KS:      That's a good question. I'm not sure if I'm ready to answer that right now. (then does so immediately) Stevie Wonder! Prince.

LF:       Supermodel look of the year, catwalk sort of thing going on for a couple of hours.

KS:      I'd have Jimi Hendrix! Mozart!

LF:       I'd have Zep, I'd have The Beatles.

KS:      Oh yeah!

LF:       The Beatles in '68. I'd have The Beatles from '68 transported. I'd have the Stones from '67. Bitter because The Beatles were about to trump them but still hungry for some action.

KS:      I think you should have a DJ face-off between Beethoven and Mozart. I think that would be a brilliant piece of festival technology right there. Wild Stallions! I want Wild Stallions. (Singing at top of voice) God gave rock 'n' roll!

What's the absolutely best thing about being in the Loose Cannons?

KS:      You know what's really great? We hadn't actually thought it through when we named ourselves the Loose Cannons but it turned out to be a good thing to call yourselves 'cos we can get away with anything. I can be late for my press interviews. I can get as shitfaced as I like. It doesn't matter 'cos I'm a Loose Cannon! Who knows? I just might go and write something on some girl's tits now. I'm allowed - it's great.

LF:       It's our corporate identity.

And is being in the Loose Cannons living up all that you expected it to?

KS:      Yeah! This is what I want. Earlier on, having ready meals made for me backstage in the VIP area. That was all it was about for me when I was a kid, getting back there. Now I've been, I know I wasn't missing anything. Let's get back to the boogie!

What would be your top festival tune?

LF:       Yesterday, I was thinking the best dance tune of all time has got to be 'Don't Stop Till You Get Enough'. I heard it in the toilet. We always play it. If the set's failing when we're DJ-ing, it doesn't matter if you've got Westwood's crowd or anyone, you play that tune and everyone loves it.

KS:      You've got to say it. Jacko, he might be a dirty, child-molesting perv but he knows how to make a tune! I said he might be. He's probably not but he might be. If he is, he still makes good tunes.

LF:       Festival. Wherever. Disco, bedroom, bathroom - you play that tune and I guarantee the whole world will put down what they're doing and go to the dancefloor.