A clown in Conservative clothingFri, May 9, 11:33 AM Will the appointment of the bumbling Boris Johnson as London mayor spell the end of festivals in th
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Wahey! Florists of the nation unite its Valentines Day!
And I, instead of flicking through the hoards of cards the fleet of Post Office vans delivered this morning, am flicking between Westlife’s Guide To Love on TV and the Snow Patrol album sullenly leaking through the walls from next door.
So it got me thinking: which band am I going to fall in love with this summer? Not in the sense of ‘Oh Vampire Weekend I love them’, because they’re already as sickly as the couple lip-locked on the tube this morning, but more in the sense of ‘When I meet my next girlfriend I’m likely to be watching...’
Well, many could play the sensitive card and pull a handkerchief out as Duffy softy oozes soul at Glastonbury, the same with her contemporary starlets Adele or Laura Marling, both of whom are rumoured to be at the festival, but that seems a little tactful.
You might try Glastonbury’s Park Stage where, instead of finding the Walrus of Love, you’ll find CSS’s Lovefoxxx nu-raving it up in a Joseph’s techno-coloured catsuit among the dregs of last year’s latest fad.
However, finding love there seems as likely as you doing a bit of Scouting For Girls on the Isle of Wight, although the soundtrack of the piano-pop trio against the festival’s tremendous record for sunshine may change all that.
My Bloody Valentine, who are appearing at Benicassim and Roskilde and no doubt T In The Park, seem the most aptly named band to listen to when Cupid’s bow bounces off your bonce, but to be honest you should be looking much closer to home.
Because this summer you will probably be falling in love with the Kings Of Leon all over again. Musicians, critics and aural lovers can only concede that they will be the best band for finding romance this year.
They’ve been given a headline slot at Glastonbury and T In The Park, which means it’s likely to be dark (the visual alterative to beer goggles), most are likely to be a few sheets to the wind and Jared’s voice is like a siren singing ships to shipwreck.
So in equal measures singletons will flock towards the Followills to listen to their Garage Rock interpretations of love, heartbreak and impotence before heading off into the campsite darkness with hearts for pupils.
And if anyone’s looking for the perfect band to finish with someone this year, I suggest grabbing a plane ticket to catch Radiohead as it seems Oxford’s finest won’t be at any UK festivals this time around. Though that may mean you’ll be stuck with your ex abroad, which is never a good thing. Maybe just feed her to those Pigeon Detectives.
So Valentine confessions: which band will you fall in love to this festival season?
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