Plug in and turn it up: Wireless is back!
Five to watch, Spotify playlists, more in bumper preview
Wireless? So is everyone playing acoustic then?
I hope not, Ke$ha's playing on Saturday, you know. BOOM!
Very funny. But what's the deal?
Wireless Festival is back for a seventh year in Central London with some of the biggest acts in the world over three days, plus market stalls, chill-out areas, and, this year, Elite will be on site searching for the country's next top model, so you may want to reign that beer gut in.
Sounds good! I'll get my tent!
Er...no you won't. It's in Hyde Park, so there's no camping, but with every night finishing around 10:30, at least you'll get a good night's sleep afterwards. Not only that, it's well served by public transport and uses as much sustainable material onsite as possible, so if the model agency turns you down, you can regain some self-worth in knowing your carbon footprint isn't so big.
That line-up's looking somewhat eclectic...
Wireless are certainly catering for all tastes, with Friday being largely R&B/Pop oriented, Saturday big for the dance heads and Sunday being the go-to day for indie kids, but there's good stuff on every day.
Oh really? Prove it!
Ok then, how about:
The man to hail/blame for the state of the Top 40 at the moment, he's provided the template for truckloads of current hits. Playing as special guest to collaborators Black Eyed Peas on Friday, you may want to bring your dancing shoes.
If Beach Break Live is anything to go by, he's on superlative, high-energy festival form. The singles alone make him un-missable. In a couple of years, he'll probably be headlining this thing.
We don't have the jetpacks or flying cars, but when people from way back when imagined what music would sound like, we bet they had this innovative synth-soul in mind.
A real force of nature, disco classics like 'Pull Up To The Bumper' to the jaw-dropping 'Slave to The Rhythm’ still resonate. She may now be in her sixties, but Grace has lost none of her stage presence, nor her penchant for risqué costumes.
The only London show so far for the comeback of the year - we never really realised how much we missed them until they returned. In fact, songs like 'Common People' and 'Sorted For Es And Whizz' are probably more relevant now than ever. It'll be great to see Jarvis & Co. back where they belong - commanding the big stage.
Okay, okay! Here's a Wireless Festival 2011 Spotify playlist for you...
So how much are the tickets?
Three-day tickets are sold out, as are Friday Day Tickets, save for a few VIP packages. Saturday (headlined by The Chemical Brothers) tickets are £54.25, while Sunday tickets with Pulp are priced at £55.25. A two-day ticket for Saturday and Sunday is also available for £101. Click here to buy tickets.
Now all I have to worry about are the beer tent queues.
Maybe not! Sponsors Barclaycard are trialling their new "contactless" service at the festival, which works like an Oyster card, so no more fumbling for change. Maybe we'll get those jetpacks in time for the festival after all...