Things that only happen at Glastonbury Festival

Mud, nudity, acid and Pimp My Tractor! Only at Worthy Farm...


Photographer:Steve Jenner

United Kingdom United Kingdom | by Chris Eustace | 16 June 2011

Your tractor will be pimped
Watch as Westwood gives Michael Eavis’ farm ride the bling makeover he’s been, erm, waiting for.

Some gratuitous nudity
This lot liked The Zutons a bit too much.

It occasionally sucks...and even blows
The newly-enlarged Dance Tent was full to the brim in 1998, with as many looking to shelter from the rain as there were those looking to throw a few shapes. By Saturday though, it was getting seriously waterlogged. Cue a sewage truck, dispatched to try and suck out some of the excess. It was a decent idea that might have worked, if someone hadn’t flicked the switch to “blow” instead, covering the inside of the tent, and assorted revellers, with something considerably nastier than mud.

There will be mud!

“Fat Dancers” might invade your stage
When Oasis played Glastonbury in 1995, they got themselves an unofficial mascot in the shape of one Robbie Williams, who had infamously just quit Take That. Befriending the band, he even got onstage during ‘Shakermaker’, though they didn’t remain mates for long...

Everything Must Go...but not in our bog, please.
“THESE FACILITIES ARE RESERVED EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE MANIC STREET PREACHERS. PLEASE RESPECT THIS. THANK YOU.” Bore the legend attached to a backstage portable loo at the Manics’ 1999 appearance. Billy Bragg pointed out this “wasn’t a very socialist gesture” from such political firebrands, but it did mark at least a change from Nicky Wire’s 1994 onstage declaration that “they should build a flyover over the shithole.” Now they just wanted a sign on the door of one.

More gratuitous nudity

Crop a load of this
Mike Skinner kindly donates a crop circle of his own face.

A bit more mud!
It sends some people mad.

Pot shots at the Pyramid Stage?
When Suzanne Vega played in 1989, she did so wearing a bulletproof vest that was three times too big for her, having received death threats prior to the festival. The tour bus was waiting at the side of the Pyramid Stage to whisk her away straight after her performance, which thankfully passed without incident.

Banksy’s BogHenge
Infamous invisible entity, Banksy, took time off spraying walls to create Stonehenge out of portable toilets.

There might be some games you won’t want to play
Legend has it one acid-soaked casualty spent the duration of the festival swimming around beneath the portaloos and popping up every so often on unsuspecting punters barking out the 80's board game catchphrase: “Pop Up Pirate!” This may not be true though.

There will be plenty of art

How about you let Michael Eavis himself show you round the place to finish…

…or we can end on some more mud!

Check out our Glastonbury preview pieces:
VF guide to hidden Glastonbury.
Things that only happen at Glastonbury.
Michael Eavis interview.
The great VF 'Special Guests' sweepstake.
My Festival Life… Greg Roberts from Dreadzone.
Long range Glastonbury 2011 weather forecast.
Photo blog: top 20 bands to see.
Photo blog: the mud.
Photo blog: the weird and wonderful of Worthy Farm.
Do Glastonbury 2011 as a scenester or a senior.
Glastonbury 2011 in numbers.
Glaston-buried by luggage: the ultimate packing checklist.
Glastonbury Festival Spotify playlists.
Video: top five acts to see on the Pyramid Stage.
Video: top five acts to see on the Other Stage.
Video: top five acts to see on the West Holts Stage.
Video: top five acts to see on the John Peel Stage.
Video: top five acts to see on the The Park.
Video: top five acts to see in the Dance Village.


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