Latest Blogs

Friday

10.30pm

“Because 2 Many DJs were stuck in traffic we got an hour extension, but it does mean we have to stop at 10.30,” a voice announces dimming down the chant of “one more tune.” Luckily the evening is just getting started then…

10.06pm

Much worth the wait, 2 Many DJs are sublime this evening. They may’ve left a vocal or two at home but a selection of their best remixes including ‘Hey Girl Hey Boy’ by The Chemical Brothers, The Gossip and, track of the set, MGMT’s ‘Kids’ make sure the crowd amongst the alpine evergreen forest will enjoy a set they’re unlikely to forget.

8.47pm

Beardyman plays on because 2 Many DJs are stuck in traffic – just what does it take to get a headliner over here?

8.37pm

“I’ve been partying for three days,” Beardyman tells the crowd, "and my voice is completely fucked!" As rough as he looks – is that a beard young man? – the beatboxer hammers out a hit heavy set which includes Van Halen’s ‘Jump’, a little Duran Duran and even the theme tune to 90’s children game show Funhouse. “Who fancied the twins off of Funhouse?” he asks the crowd, “fuck it they were fit man!”

8.15pm

Hidden through the woods, and performing out of what seems to be half a Scandinavian lodge, Layo And Bushwakca! drop their own ‘Love Story’ and the saxophone echoes out around the entire valley.

1.14am

The one thing this festival has been full of is killer sets, and as Chase And Status launch into Mr Oizo’s cut of ‘Killing In The Name’ they make sure their performance will be etched into Snowbombing history.

12.23am

With Chase And Status having their set pushed back to witching hour, the Racket Club is packed by the time they take to the stage. They kick off with some drum n bass before flooring the crowd with some heavy dubstep. Remixes of The Streets ‘Blinded By The Lights’ and Rusko’s ‘Cockney Thug’ by Caspa keep the tempo up before the duo drop their own ‘Snoop Dogg Millionaire’ back to back with ‘Against All Odds’.

Thursday
 
11.07pm

On the way back down towards town, and with Captain America crowd surfing over the hoards in the ski lift, I meet a pair of enthusiastic 16 year olds at their first Snowbombing. Mike from Cumbria tells me: “It’s the best festival in the whole bloody world,” with his friend Jah adding: “I’ll be back next year, without a doubt.”

10.02pm

The igloo is rammed with the ice walls melting and dripping onto the sell out crowd below as Cagedbaby spins a house set peppered with a few crowd pleasers. The Chemical Brothers ‘Do It Again’ and a mash-up of Daft Punk and Justice’s ‘D.A.N.C.E.’ make sure that Fatboy Slim’s absence tonight should go unnoticed. That and the five free drinks revellers are given on entry.

8.42pm

The hottest ticket of the week is the Southern Fried night at the Arctic Disco and as the crowd walk up the torch-lit side of the mountain towards the bonfire outside the venue it looks like it could be very special indeed.

3.22pm

Greg Wilson is playing a funk and disco set up at the Artic Disco. There are moments like this, when the sun is out and Wilson drops tracks like Stevie Wonder’s ‘Superstition’ as people drift down the piste and you have to ask - does life really get any better than this?

1.45am
 
Men In Masks are getting sweaty in the Schussel, one dressed in a Stormtrooper helmet and the other in a golden Mexican wrestling mask. The busy club is pumping along to the duo’s fidget house, with the DJs themselves unable to stand still. But with the smell of the built in kebab and pizza shop the lure of food and bed is just too much…
 
12.31am
 
After an hour’s history lesson of the some of the best hip hop tracks ever made, Grandmaster Flash leaves the stage even more of a legend than when he walked on – sublime programming.
 

Wednesday

11.57pm

“I don’t care who made the record, as long as it has a beat. So to Flash, this is a hip hop record,” the DJ announces before thundering into Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’.
 
11.43pm
 
The crowd are really bouncing for Blondie’s ‘Rapture’ – the first ever number one with a rap in it – and Run DMC’s ‘Walk This Way’.
 
11.30pm
 
The Racket Club is the busiest it has been all week for hip hop pioneer Grandmaster Flash. Queen’s ‘Flash’ is playing while the screen behind the decks tells the story of how Grandmaster started DJing, with the man himself narrating: “In the seventies, people were scared to touch the record, I changed all that.” 

He kicks off his set with his own track ‘The Message’ setting the tone of the performance with quick mixes of killer tunes as he flips into KRS One's ‘Sound Of Da Police’. 

6.13pm
 
As the rumbling drums of The Jam’s ‘Going Underground’ begin, Barry Peters gives a shout out over the microphone: “this one is going out to Joe Fritzl, we’re going underground.”
 
6.07pm
 
Mobile disco Barry Peters is throwing down some party tracks – think Rainbow and AC/DC – while his son Kevin Peters and Dave Japan (all three are part of The Cuban Brothers crew) do a dance routine that apparently got them 16th place in a recent dance competition in Ghent, Belgium. “They’re definitely not gay,” Peters tells the crowd, “they’re definitely not gay.”
 
5.14pm
 
Thousands of people have packed outside one of the ski lifts to drink and groove along to the mellow house of Dave Beer including some smurfs, Osama Bin Laden, a few soldiers and Barry Peters from Halifax Radio.
 
It’s the first time that Snowbombing has the communal atmosphere of Glastonbury or Bestival, but with the mountains providing the most serene of backdrops; this really is something very special indeed.

4.14pm

They've closed off the main road in the town for the traditional street party which includes mobile bars, DJs and the return of the brass band from earlier on this week. Dave Beer, Russ from The Cuban Brothers and Beardyman are all set to rock the road in the coming hours. Much better than the street parties held for the Queen's coronation back in 1953...

3.03am

The View seem a lot better as they pack their bags onto their coach ready to leave with a few girls in tow.

2.40pm

And I seem to have found it in behemoth bassline brothers Plump DJs. The pair have The Arena rammed, with a one-in-one-out policy in place. Dangermouse seems to be the real celebrity in the place though, high-fiving people outside the toilets.

2.06am

Goldierocks takes over at the Schussel with some obvious electro tunes. Mixing may not be her bag, instead she’s gone for tracks from Little Boots, Herve’s ‘Cheap Thrills’ and a remix of the Aeroplane remix of Friendly Fires’ ‘Paris’. Yawn – I’m off to find something other than Zane Lowe’s playlist.

1.09am

Jaguar Skills mashes up hip hop, indie, drum n bass, reggae and dubstep in a manic set that has the Schussel steaming with sweat and sticky from Jager-bombs.

Tuesday

11.59pm

Finishing on ‘Mountains’ Biffy are like a rocking avalanche that’s destroyed The Racket Club in one fatal swoop – outstanding.

11.49pm

Biffy Clyro trash out one of the best live performances of the week with a wall of girls on shoulders blocking the view for rest of the crowd during ‘Now I’m Everyone’ which is segued into a mammoth rendition of ‘Who’s Got A Match’.

10.36pm

No Fakin DJs are bashing out party tunes before Biffy Clyro come on. The Jungle Book’s ‘King Of The Swingers’ babbles over Charles Wrights' 'Express Yourself’, while a Cuban cut of ‘Girls Of Film’ and Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Crosstown Traffic’ get the crowd grooving.

10.03am

Hitting the slopes with Chase And Status for a beginners ski lesson. See, musicians aren’t that cool underneath it all, practising snow ploughs down the nursery slope.

Monday

2.15pm
But today’s not the day for snoozing with James Zabiela storming The Arena - an underground club beneath the floors of the hotel. A hectic blur of stabbing buttons, spinning discs and house mayhem keeps the crowd bouncing before the DJ prepares to go back to back with Nic Fanciulli. I’m back off to bed though.

1.02pm

One Snowbombing regular reveals the secret of doing the event properly: “You need at least one night when you get seven hours sleep, that’s it.”

10.30pm

After one more song, with Falconer on bass duties, it seems that The View are the joke this evening. Kyle leaves stage for a second time and doesn’t return. Answering to a chorus of boos Webster tells the crowd, “Kyle’s not feeling well, he’s already fainted once. I’m really sorry.” They were sounding awful anyway.

10.22pm

After just two clattering tracks The View’s frontman, Kyle Falconer, walks off stage. Bassist Kieren Webster fills the time with some comedy. “You wanna hear a joke? A Glaswegian joke?” he drawls in a very strong Scottish accent, “The Fratellis.” Boom boom.

9.34pm

Despite only getting a crowd of around 50 people, Mongrel really go for it in the Racket Club. "There ain’t a lot of people, but fuck it, let’s have a party," the crowd are told and that’s exactly what happens. Rapper Lowkey’s astute and poignant rapping is mesmerising, while McClure swaggers around the stage like an ape - the set of the festival so far.

8.22pm

In the X-Box Social (a small stage squeezed inside the hotel’s bar) is Master Shortie rousing the crowd with his hip pop - a great start to the evening.

4.08pm

Walking back into town to watch a oompah brass band that have amassed quite a crowd to hear them cover tracks like Madness’ ‘Baggy Trousers’ and the Rocky theme tune.

2.57pm

I can’t move from the Arctic Disco, with Sombero Sound System hammering out an eclectic mix of funk, dance hip hop and indie across the Alps. La Roux’s ‘In For The Kill (Skream’s Let’s Get Ravey Mix)’ and Animal Collective ‘Girls’ elegantly echo around the ice, making it feel a little out of this world – a bit like heaven’s waiting room.

1.33pm

Killing off the hangover on the piste watching a super set by The Loose Cannons at the Artic Disco. The venue, some 2000m up the mountain, is a maze of tunnels burrowed underneath the snow. The DJs are spinning al fresco, while skiers and snowboarders drink beer, chill and bop along.

9.32am

After a comatosed sleep thanks to the strong Austrian larger (at a jaw-dropping 4Euros) I’m up, ready to hit the slopes after helping Kissy Sell Out work out how to use the orange juice machine. Press and hold Mr Sell Out, press and hold.
 
Sunday
 
11.59pm
 
The last tenth birthday I went to I spent the time hogging the package at pass the parcel, puked up about 14 French Fancies and pushed over a girl called Ellie to make her cry.
 
That was well over a decade ago and now, having travelled for around five hours to attend Snowbombing’s 10th, I find myself trying not to vomit again, this time holding down a warm Jagermeister.
 
It’s been a hectic opening day. After losing an hours kip after the clocks went forward I travelled from Munich to Mayrhofen with Reverend And The Makers, Mongrel and The Cuban Brothers. Let the anarchy begin I remember thinking before falling asleep as the bus set off.
 
Arriving at the hotel, the party was well underway as an astronaut made his way past the penguins in reception clutching a Jager-bomb. All the talk of the first evening entertainment is of Dizzee Rascal at The Racket Club - an underground tennis centre - and boy, does he get the party started: freestyling over MIA’s ‘Paper Planes’ and covering ‘That’s Not My Name’ by The Ting Tings.
 
The venue has drooping handmade icicles, glowing statues and a very wet entrance. This might be the snow melting from the slew of bodies inside or it might be the from the boy’s toilets which have overflowed – either way Skream And Benga’s throbbing dubstep and beats blaring from the speakers will make sure the birthday bash runs well into the early hours… unlike me.

belt around our ever-shrinking waists, it's becoming more difficult to stage festivals - especially new ones. Already this semester Wild In The Country and Blissfields have pulled the plug on their events, while Lodestar Festival has failed to get off the ground for the second year running.

However, with the stiff upper lip stubbornness that's made Britain great, they've all vowed to return in 2009. Just dropping short of faux-Austrian accents mimicking Arnie in Terminator, the aforementioned have set their sights of revivals and, in the terms of Zoo Thousand and Eight , a revamp to make sure the show does go on next year. But can these bashes be brought back from the brink?

Take Zoo Thousand for example: the festival went ahead this despite falling 8,000 short of its 20,000 capacity and fans still grumbled about a lack of toilets and drinking water as well as the extensive queues for entering the site. They are similar criticisms to the ones Field Day faced back in 2007 and with just over a week to go until Field Day's second attempt, fans are about to discover if they’ve learned from their mistakes.

But, unfortunately for Zoo, the problems widen slightly surrounding a fall out between organisers and Dizzee Rascal's agency Primary Talent International. Dizzee was one of the acts that didn't perform at the event alongside Athlete (cancelled) and Roni Size (paid but didn't play) because, according to his agent Peter Elliot, the organisers were in "gross breach of contract." Elliot also vows that Zoo will, "never get an act from [him] again," which rules out Babyshambles, Rob Da Bank, The Streets, Oasis and even Daniel Bedingfield. Bummer. Teething problems are one thing, but blotches on your band booking form quite another.

Wild In The Country may suffer in similar band booking circumstances after cancelling the all-nighter just 48 hours before it was due to begin. The festival's headliner Bjork practically pulled the event's life-support machine plug herself, citing "significant problems with the event, including its staging, sound and lighting," as reasons for her to cancel her apperance, just days after financial backing withdrew. Organisers are determined to host the festival again this time next year, but with the event's termination so close to kick off, how many fans will be inclined to go Wild in 2009?

Other unfortunate casualties include the Wax On: Live debut, which waxed off before it had a chance to shine and the award winning Blissfields , who walked away with the 'Best Small Festival Award' at the UK Festival Awards in 2007. The Hampshire event upped sticks and up-scaled to Matterley Bowl after two successful stints at Bradley Farm, but it would seem it was just a step too far.

All the events vow to be back next year, but which is more admiral: cancelling the festival before it goes ahead or running the festival even if you're low on tickets, toilets and, ultimately, money? Which of these events do you think will be back in 2009?

here say they're noticing a real explosion in festival fans attending Garden as part of a European tour, and what better way to warm up for the mind-blowing EXIT, winner of last year's 'Best European Festival' in the UK Festival Awards. We met one group of guys who came straight to Garden from Glastonbury, literally left the Worthy Farm gates on Monday morning before driving five days across Europe and down to the Balkans. We politely declined a lift from them, reckoning the eight hour drive might smell some, and have instead opted for a lift with a group from Birmingham who we met in a bombed out bar last night. It literally had no roof, allowing for warm-breezed views over the small village of Petrcane, home of Garden Festival, for many since last Thursday.

We'll certainly miss this place, despite it being almost empty of festival goers now. Like all the best parties, Garden Festival takes a while to actually finish. Officially it was Sunday night, Sunday night turned into Monday morning as we danced to some of the best music of the whole weekend, courtesy of the brilliant DJ Dennis Ferrer, and then two unofficial boat parties were held on Monday afternoon, as well. Those who've made the trip tend to stick around and enjoy some gentle village life following the days and nights of hedonism on boat parties and dance floors. The chilled holiday atmosphere, chatting to new found friends about fun times shared over huge, fresh fish platters, is as much part of being here as jumping round the beach terrace on a Saturday afternoon. The locals, too, embrace this side of the experience and are among the most welcoming festival hosts you could ever encounter, during and after. If you just come here for the weekend you'll be missing out. Garden Festival can be a holiday, a halfway house, a springboard for EXIT - or all three - but it in a time very much of its own and a unique and special one at that.

So time to leave the Petrcane peninsula for a Pertovian fortress. Onto EXIT tonight for what's going to be another eye-opening European encounter. We'll keep you posted on all the goings on, including sets by Sex Pistols, Weller and NERD, before we move north up to Slovakia for Povoda festival next weekend, for the final leg of our Eastern Europe odyssey.

y in years, VF has headed east to tour Eastern Europe, starting in Croatia at Garden festival. It's the perfect warm up for EXIT in Serbia, a chilled festival on a beautiful peninsula near to the city of Zadar where party folk have gathered in the sun to unwind, sun up and go a little crazy. Back To Basics founder Dave Beer is already in hospital after commadeering a BMX and smashing his face up at the bottom of a hill but generally people are having a safe time.

Some have driven straight from Glasto, others here for a week holiday but most are visiting for the weekend, enjoying the kinds of DJs and live acts you'll find at the likes of Bestival and Big Chill, Mr Scruff, The Bays, Bonobo being some of the stand outs. Boat parties dominate proceedings, hundreds heading out into the Adriatic Sea on regular journeys for sun, sea and steppin', while the rest warm up a sun-drenched wooden terrace jutting out to sea, housing some of the finest beats this side of Ibiza.

You almost can't qualify it as a festival, such is it's luxurious setting, it literaly fills that gaps between holiday and festival, ie perfect. Advice: Next year just get here, trust us. Stay posted for the full review.

g festivals over the next few months. With mud rivers and Jay-Z assassination attempts scheduled for June it only seemed right to start off at the sophisticated sounding Primavera Sound in Spain. For one, it boasts arguably the most interesting line ups from across the continent this year - even new music luminaries such as ourselves had never heard of Atlas Sound and Gentle Music Men - but more importantly it's in the Spanish party capital Barcelona, is sponsored by a beer company (you can only hope), runs through the night so you can enjoy your days (and do a bit of work, of course) and it costs just £62.20 for the whole thing.

Portishead and Public Enemy are perhaps the biggest draws, both playing rare festival sets, while Rufus Wainwright, The Cribs, Cat Power and De La Soul are just a few other of the proven festival greats on show. Fresher sounds come in the form of the much hyped MGMT, Vampire Weekend, Bon Iver and A Place To Bury Strangers, while more Fuck Buttons, HEALTH, Pissed Jeans offer treats for those who like their music challenging. On that note, alt festival pioneers All Tomorrow's Parties are hosting a stage, bringing their holiday home faves Shellac, Explosions In The Sky and Les Savy Fav along for the ride, alongside many others.

Right, our flight leaves in less than four hours and there's still some packing to do. Keep posted for news, reviews, photos and more from Primavera Sound over the next few days.

In the past few years the stark contrast between our dark winters and sunny summers have merged into a muddy hash of damp spring and morose autumn, which has given ol' green fields of Blighty quite a churning. 'The same could be said for our stomachs,' thousands of wellie-wielding revellers would probably concede if you'd caught them on a muddy Monday after a festival last year. So what's the solution? Better drainage systems? Matted flooring covering the fields? Or giant umbrellas shielding the entire site? Well, that last suggestion may not be that far off.

With all eyes on the new outdoor festivals: Indieco Sunday Social, The Hop Farm Festival and even the Mighty Boosh Festival (yup, the comedians that seem to have more pies than fingers), the attention may've be taken away from the urban bashes that make watching good music much more bearable for all the Ombrophobics (look it up, I was pedantic enough) out there. This weekend alone The Great Escape and the inaugural Stag and Dagger are set ready to give trendsetters, try-hards and music lovers a superfluity of new bands without a wellie or a speck of mud in sight. Will this make city soirées the future of festivals?

It's an option: there will be improved facilities for bands, bars readily stocked and better transport links, especially in major cities. Plus the ticket price is generally cheaper: Stag and Dagger will set you £14 for 109 bands with a few special guests still to be added. That said many of the acts at the urban festivals are just breaking through, merely performing to/for promoters, agents and labels as well as the fans, which verifies the discounted ticket price. But could these festivals expand to accommodate for the bigger bands to fit in The White Stripes' and the Coldplays? Would you find Prince and his entourage funking out in the Dublin Castle? Unlikely, though Radiohead did play a freebie at 93 Feet East a few months back, so anything's possible. Albeit squashingly possible.

It may be a possibility, but surely it's not viable? For organisers to get in the big name headliners they have to get in tens or hundreds of thousands of fans as well. So squeezing 200 revellers in a grubby boozer is unlikely to even cover the cost of a rider, let alone a big American act. An idea would be get bands to strip down their sets, so they would cost less and give the festival-goers a more intimate and memorable show. But which acts would be willing to partake in that and what charity would they have to be raising awareness for? Then on top of that there is the matter of booking all the smaller acts as well.

The other annoyance from city festivals is the higher number of clashes you'll likely to get. At Reading you may get one or two, or four maximum, but at The Great Escape you can have up to 25 clashes at any one time. Then, on top of that, the most bands you can really see in an evening is around four or five – and that's if you don't risk changing venues!

Despite that, housing a festival in the city does allow festival-goers, especially local ones, to simply dawdle from work straight to the venues, the beer is bound to be better (and a lot of the time cheaper), plus you can always nip back home or to your hotel for a decent night's kip.

In the end it's swings and roundabouts. Urban festivals are cheaper and you get to see breaking bands, whereas outdoor festivals are more expensive but you get to see bigger acts. My tip: do one of each. Check out the up-and-coming bands at urban festivals for next to nada in the wet, then watch them flourish over the summer in the sunshine of the bigger outdoor events. Easy.

y debate, there is a much more important event happening this year.

As the futile and ridiculous dispute about the world's most famous hip hop star headlining the world's most famous festival rages on, musicians and music lovers are in danger of ignoring a much more significant event – this Sunday's Love Music Hate Racism Carnival.

Thirty years ago, far-right political group The National Front were gaining popularity, with splinter groups taking over 40% of votes in Deptford, London in 1974 and two seats in Blackburn just a couple of years later. A growing xenophobia, which had been fuelled by Enoch Powell's 'Rivers of Blood' speech in 1968, was turning from pub chat or private discussions into brutality and, in a few isolated cases, racially-incited murders.

In opposition to the rising hatred a group of political activists and musicians joined to create Rock Against Racism (RAR) – a faction that married music and politics to combat the growing support for neo-Nazi groups. Exactly thirty years ago RAR put on a free musical carnival in Hackney's Victoria Park that merged artists from different ethnicities and musical genres. The Clash headlined the bash with support from Steel Pulse, Tom Robinson and X-Ray Spex and this Sunday the latest incarnation of RAR called Love Music Hate Racism is set to repeat the feat and host another huge event with The Good, The Bad and The Queen, Wiley, Hard Fi and The Clash's DJ Don Letts all set to appear. But are the organisers missing a trick?

I'm not saying that race relations in the country are ideal and there isn't any need to highlight the minority that still practice and preach racial hatred, but we have progressed greatly over the last three decades. However in the current social climate, after the enlargement of the EU in 2004, it's migrants from the old Eastern bloc that are facing the most prejudice, with similar undercurrents that black and Asian people endured in the seventies: being blamed for increased unemployment, undercutting wages et cetera . They may not have to suffer the Stop and Search laws, but they are still facing harassment. So why are Polish acts not being represented at this year's carnival?

This year's Wickerman Festival have successfully gained a grant from the local council to help integrate the influx of Polish migrants by featuring Polish acts at the Scottish bash. Festival Artistic Director Sid Ambrose said: "We want to open up the festival to the growing Polish community and we plan to produce publicity material for Polish speakers. We hope to feature some Polish acts and our world music stage would be the perfect platform. The Wickerman is very much a socially responsible event and with many thousands of Polish people in Scotland and the rest of the UK, we want to play a part in helping them integrate." Surely a Love Music Hate Racism concert should follow suit?

Whether they should or not currently remains an open argument, but whatever your own stance on the topic you should try and attend this weekend's carnival. Racism has to be halted in all forms and today's British National Party (basically the National Front under another pseudonym) are still gaining small, yet worrying, amounts of support in local elections - taking three seats in Burnley in 2002. The party may've created a more respectable front than their predecessors, but their prominent policies remain radically racist.

So rather than squabbling about Glastonbury's headliners down the pub, take a step outside and help quash a more pertinent issue – there's lots of great music too!

For more information on Love Music Hate Racism click HERE .

Nearly half of London's eligible voters made it out last week to stick a cross in the Conservative candidate's box, supposedly in favour of a return Routemaster buses. But from a cultural perspective was it such a wise decision?

Currently the mayoral office provides financial support for 25 festivals around the capital including the Notting Hill Carnival, London Mela and Soho Pride, but Johnson has been quoted as saying in the Evening Standard that he will continue to "put on some festivals," but only if "he can sponsor them with private cash rather than public funds." Will this be the same sort of privatisation the railways suffered under the Tories in 1993? The type that made Britain's railways (as quoted from one of Boris' own articles) "the worst railways in Europe?" I assume so. One can also assume that following his racist comments in the past ('piccaninny' and 'blacks have lower IQs' et cetra ) the Black History Month events, which currently receive City Hall support, will be one of the first to be shelved.

Luckily the likes of Lovebox Weekender, Get Loaded In The Park and Camden Crawl are already on their feet and won't need any help and if anything they'll be better off under Boris now he's banned Londoners from drinking on public transport. So instead of having that pre-party whistle-whetter festival on the bus or tube, festival goers can spend all their hard earned green on festival-priced pints. At least they won't have a beer in their hand as they crawling back down the escalators to puke up on the last tube home.

Away from music festivals there's the arts. Last weekend Banksy held his very own Cans Festival in Waterloo. The exhibition showcased contemporary art from the anonymous graffiti artist and his peers along the sides of a tunnel. Will Johnson's community payback scheme be in charge of ridding this eyesore? All those menacing yoofs scrubbing the walls in a bid to get back their free travel? I, for one, hope not.

ly, even with everybody's favourite Mr Bigmouth, Morrissey, cueing up his only UK festival appearance. So just how are the smaller festivals punching above their weight?

Well, take Underage Festival for example, they grabbed themselves some plaudits for becoming the first exclusively under 18's festival last year, and it proved so popular that they've had to put an extra 2,000 tickets on sale for 2008 to cope with demand. They're lucky (or clever) because they've done what should've been achieved a long time ago - broken the teenage market. It has always been a hard one to crack but they’re the people most likely to buy a band's records even if they're the least likely to be allowed into their gigs . It also allows organisers to book bands with ironic names: The Teenagers (barff barff), Sons and Daughters (chortle) and XX Teens (the same strained connection as the first, but you get the idea) are all chalked up for Victoria Park this August. Besides the advertisting plan is simple - hit the school holidays. The first artists announcement coincided with the Easter break, it's just a shame the young tinkers didn't spend more time spell-checking their work rather than rushing through it, just to run around, smoke their parents' fags and throw stones at Soulja Boy . Then they would've noticed they'd spelled Ipso Facto and Glasvegas' names wrong on their website - though this has been swifty amended. But does it prove that searching for that alternative market will make your festival more appealing?

It certainly does in the case of Beach Break Live, a four-day event that only allows university students to attend. It doesn't take Einstein to realise that students, booze and music are the ideal marriage, but for those tax-dodgers who may still be preoccupied with skinning up on their Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas DVD, organisers have also added late nights, extreme activities and plenty of 'student music' too. Sure, you can find The Cribs and The Wombats at a few majors as well, but you'll also find sunburned dads in shorts with their arm around their daughter jigging along. Students don't like to be taken out of their Uni bar environment - they may get judged. But the festival irradiates this fear, giving them the chance to act and be accepted like they would on their on campus. But not all small and middle-range festivals can jump on the niche market bandwagon, so what’s the alternative?

Zoo Thousand and Eight have come up with one - mixing a zoo with a festival. Yup, that's right, animals thrown in with, erm drunk animals? The festival actually keeps the revellers a safe enough distance from the real animals, (should that be the other way around?) but gives them a chance to join a Safari Tour or go into the actual Animal Park to see their favourite wildlife in their unnatural habitat. This may just prove to be the winning formula - a day out, a massive gig and a camping holiday all rolled into one.

Maybe some of the bigger festivals should take heed and add something ridiculous or outrageous as the alternative entertainment - maybe an underwater event? Oh, Glastonbury did that last year.

y gossip column makes for much better reading.

When Carl Barat was 'seen' hovering behind the Other Stage before Babyshambles' Glastonbury performance in 2007 the long-standing Libertines reunion rumour was refuelled. The Chinese Whispers began again and gossip-mongering fans phoned, text and smoke signalled their mates to make sure they were all together to share the monumental moment when the former band mates played a set, a song, or even a C Sharp Minor together. But instead of a return to 'The Good Old Days', a soaked swarm of supporters were treated (if that's the right word) to a lacklustre set from Doherty's latest outfit that included cameos from Kate Moss and Lethal Bizzle, but, as far as Glastonbury's folklore is concerned - no Barat.

And that's it done – the art of great gossip. It could be the sighting of a celebrity, the word from an industry insider or the latest news from The Sun's gossip column that kickstarts it all. Whatever it is, it can all turn a little white lie into the biggest collaboration the world has ever known in a few festival hear-says.

Ignoring these festival fables is a near impossibility, especially if you don't want to be the one that misses The Smiths reform on the Avalon Stage. So, with no further ado, here are the rumours that are circulating at the moment, just in case one actually does come true.

Radiohead are set to play at the festival

Despite a massive headline tour and a string of European festival dates, Thom Yorke and Co will still find the time to play the Saturday of this year's festival. But rather than trying to upstage Jigga Man the Oxford band will either play a stripped down set or acoustically in an undisclosed location (the BBC onsite studio probably). Playing unannounced and under a different guise is usually a favourite of Fatboy Slim but the five-piece could have a go at it this year, after all they should already be there if Johnny Greenwood is to be believed. He told Radio 1 earlier this year: "Thom [Yorke] was there last year and really enjoyed seeing bands like Madness playing in the casino, so maybe we’ll do that."

BBC Introducing…

After a successful debut the BBC Introducing... stage looks likely to feature at Glastonbury this time around and Steve Lamacq has already announced that MGMT, Florence and the Machine, The Pan I Am, Wild Light and I Was A Cub Scout will be packing their bags and hitting SXSW in 2008, so they could easily be featuring at Pilton too.

Chris Martin collaborations

Michael Eavis has already said that Coldplay won't perform this year, but with an album out in the coming months a little bit of publicity won't do Chris Martin any harm. With The Verve nabbing a top slot at the festival, Richard Ashcroft may get the Coldplay frontman to play piano on 'Bitter Sweet Symphony' as he did at Live 8 when he said the track was "probably the best song ever written." Martin also added vocals on Jay-Z's song 'Beach Chair' which could earn him a guest spot with the Saturday night headliner too.

Jay-Z grabbing a helping hand

"He’s going to have some really famous people with him as well," Michael Eavis told us when we quizzed about the New York rapper, but the question is who? The Roots are most likely to feature as they have a history of being his backing band and he's bound to throw some big names into the mix if he deems this slot to be as important as Glastonbury do. Expect the guests to be people who are likely to already be at the festival which could mean Amy Winehouse, Beyonce, Jill Scott and the aforementioned Chris Martin.

Brit School Stage

With Lost Vagueness parting company with the festival, the ongoing musical evolution known as the Brit School could host an entire stage over the weekend. Amy Winehouse, The Kooks and Morcheeba could take a headline slot each and leave the likes of Kate Nash, Adele, The Feeling and Imogen Heap to fight for the other coveted slots.

These are only rumours floating around the office, so take them with a pinch of salt. Don't go and get overexcited and carve 'Chris and Jay-Z Glastonbury 2008' onto your chest, or sit in the old Lost Vagueness space with a pen and a Brit School prospectus looking for Katie Melua. Just wait in anticipation and then try not to get too down when you miss it all because you've fallen asleep at the Cider Bus.