Godskitchen Global Gathering 2003

As festival veterans and survivors of the infamous Mudlands downpour back in '00, a bit of rain had no chance of dampening our spirits. It's half the fun. Battling against the elements, to be sure, but doing so with several thousand new friends, all intent on losing it to a euphoric soundtrack of mind-numbing beats. The ubiquitous two-page glossy ads lured us to the Midlands with images of a hedonistic nirvana but the reality was a very different prospect.

Within hours, the airfield was transformed into a slippery brown quagmire but we skidded and slid between arenas in an attempt to find the, "intoxicating spectacle," and, "literally hundreds of circus performers," that had been promised in addition to the plethora of DJs. The music, it was a pretty mixed bag. Steve Lawler's innovative mixing set the scene for Futureshock's bass-heavy soundscape in the small, but perfectly formed Bedrock Arena. In fact, this stylish, rectangular white tent became a welcome retreat throughout the night and its stylishly selective line-up meant there was always room to boogie, even during Digweed's set.

Just next door was the ever-familiar Strongbow Rooms, the only on-site structure with a relatively dry dancefloor upon which to enjoy a happy mix of genres and we wasted no time in taking advantage of this along with the dozens of free cider samples we cajoled from the resident alcoholic ghostbusters. Other, less-impressive corporate presence was found in the shape of Wall's Bora Bora Beach party (Look! Chuck down a bag of sand with the odd deckchair and it's just like I-beef-a!) and an Aftershock pole dancing stage (Give 'em some well-formed silicone to gawp at whilst we try to sell over-priced, bright green chunder juice). I know which I preferred...

The largest of all tents was quite naturally the Godskitchen Arena but the quality of sets varied as much as the substances being consumed. Misstress Barbara's techno-tastic, high tempo tunes won her hundreds of new fans and Tiesto's rapturous welcome confirmed that he was keeping his. Less fortunate was the ferret-headed Judge Jules who contributed a dull, yawn-inducing selection of records guaranteed to secure him a place on Radio 2 within the next few years.

The obvious visceral delights of Sundissential and Helter-Skelter's ruff Drum 'n Bass antics made these the most popular venues with the kids as slightly more refined tastes remained in The Gallery and Babooshka. Sadly, this alignment to club branding and the hazardous weather had a significantly detrimental effect upon the waning atmosphere as people opted to remain in one place.

Overall then, Global Gathering 2003 was a major disappointment on all counts. It's complete lack of organization and cynical marketing ploys are now entirely transparent. The sadly defunct Gatecrasher Summer Sound System suffered similar problems but they, at least, have had the sense to bow out gracefully. If Godskitchen seriously envisage a future between Homelands and Creamfields then they have an awful lot of catching up to do.