V Festival 2008: Rated!

United Kingdom | by Daniel Fahey | 18 August 2008

Overall – 5/10
Only slightly shy of O2 Wireless' attempt at a superabundance of unashamed advertising, the Chelmsford leg of this year's V Festival is delivered like it's second stage sponsor T4: overbearing, unintelligent and predictably cocksure. Sunday's bill is much stronger than most of what Saturday has to offer, but past the main acts the festival's depth runs as thinly as the acting in Hollyoaks. With little else on offer aside from the music and a 10.50pm curfew, V Festival is best enjoyed as post-pub television.

Getting There And Back – 7/10
Free shuttle buses run from Chelmsford train station to Hylands Park and coach-festival combo tickets makes life easier for those travelling from further afield. Ample car parking is available and for girls with short skirts there is sure to be an Essex lad prepared to drive you to the site in his Vauxhall Nova.

The Site – 6/10
In a change from last year's layout, the main and second stages have swapped locations much to the detriment of the sound quality. The V Stage was previously incaved in a more natural amphitheatre, however since the swap it is more exposed to the weather with the wind dictating whether those further than ten rows back can hear the music. This is enjoyed most when watching The Feeling. The JJB/Champion Arena has been moved to the opposite side of the site, which itself is out the way and leaves the smaller Sessions tent relatively empty for the entire weekend because wandering fans won’t just "check out the tent next to the JJB Arena," as they were more inclined to do in 2007. Bar queues were large with irritating tokens for lager, and the Sloggi pants stage – with models dancing in underwear – feels leery, cringey and unnecessary, but somehow it captures V's feel in a nutshell.

Atmosphere – 4/10
"Mate, fuck Glastonbury – this is the best festival I've been to. Glastonbury is all hippies in tie-dye." This glorious eye-opener came from an unnamed Essex lad in crisp Levi jeans, bright white trainers and a Fred Perry polo shirt. Every time this person and the several thousand other liggers helped themselves to another free backstage beer, a tiny bit of atmosphere died there and then. Cusps of good feeling could be found at Jamie T, The Prodigy and The Courteeners, but aside from that V is full of loud lager louts with shrill girls screaming and running around like they're on a school trip. Poor sound levels also meant that most people chatted while the bands were on, but it is, of course, important to discuss whether your think the lube given out with the free condoms will be any good. It’s as important as anything Richard Ashcroft is doing onstage anyway.

Music

Uppers

Muse – 8/10
Making their only UK festival appearance of the year, Muse played as if it was the last show of their lives. With six rotating satellite dishes, dashing lasers, pyrotechnics and an apocalyptic lightshow the trio outshone other acts over the weekend with hits like 'Plug In Baby', 'Hysteria' and set closer 'Knights Of Cydonia'. A red-suited Bellemy classically strained the piano, bent his shredded guitar chords and strutted around the stage as the music from all three of their albums gelled perfectly. The only criticism could be that it was too over the top, and that the show itself outshone the band. Muse have played better elsewhere.

Amy Winehouse – 7/10
A flawless performance from the troubled singer left the sun-basked hoards baying for more. A sober and pitch-perfect Winehouse, for once, allowed her jazz yelps and brass-covered hits to do the slurring. It would've gone down as one of her more quintessential sets if only the sound levels were louder.

Jamie T – 7/10
The finest thing to come out of Wimbledon since Maria Sharapova was knocked out at last year's event. His mixture of hip hop, punk and ska is loud, hectic and unashamedly chav-tastic, hence the troupe of topless boys screaming "London" along to 'Sheila'. 'Brand New Bass Guitar' and 'Salvador' still sound fresh, while new track 'Sticks And Stones' sounds like it could be another Jamie T anthem.

Gabriella Climi - 6/10
She may only be 16 years old, but Gabriella Climi commands the stage as well as any pop star twice her age. Her biggest hit 'Sweet About Me' is a savoury flip of gleaming Australian songmanship, but a soulful rendition of Lez Zepplin's 'Whole Lotta Love' crushes all pigeon-holing and chart clichés.

Infadels - 6/10
Despite only playing in front of a small crowd in the Sessions tent, Infadels are dark-disco-punk personified. 'Free Things For Poor People' could've topped the Britpop charts in the 90's, but their electrifying rendition of 'Sweet Dreams' by Eurythmics is only topped by keyboard player, Richie Vernon, launching himself over the barrier and into the crowd.

Downers

Braun over brains:
Security: "Let me see your wristband…it looks loose," at his point he tugs at it.
Journo: "It is now."
Security: "Why is it so loose?"
Journo: "Because you just tugged it."
Security: "How long has it been loose?"
Jounro: "About two seconds." He then pulls it off completely. "Are you joking? I need to get in."
Security: "You're not getting in anywhere if you give me aggro." And so it continues until his boss allows the journo in.

Random Events

Frank and his deflated tent:
A gentleman called Frank who found that his friends had unpacked and un-poled his tent when he returned to the campsite. Best thing to do when drunk and angry? That's right try and scale the security tower – they'll find the culprits. He then re-erected his tent, only to then pull all possessions out of it once again, then scratch his face and complain that all his stuff had been nicked. A little confused, we thinks.