Rock Ness 2008

United Kingdom | | 09 June 2008

Set amid some of the most stunning scenery you’ll find anywhere north of the border on the banks of the world famous Loch Ness at the tiny village of Dores, Rockness is destined to become one of the most iconic spots to spend two days of your summer in the next few years.

Even the marathon drive up the A9 through the beautiful hills and soaring peaks of Highland Scotland serves only to build the excitement towards the two-day event.

However, not even the picture-postcard elegance of the setting can disguise the fact that this is a festival lacking in big-name approval.

The top end of the batting order is strong but the acts scheduled to perform on the main stage before 5pm are struggling to pull in anything more than a small rabble of eager festival goers.

And were it not that the organisers had strateigacally placed the beer tent right next door to the main stage then the numbers could be even less.

That, however, is not to diminish the performances from the likes of Rockness openers Our Lunar Activities.

The Stornoway post-grunge outfit produce a thumping start to Saturday with some hard, attacking rhythms from drummer Kevin Clark and bassist James Reeve while the fizzing energy of frontman Charles Clark has enough energy in his act to kick-start the day for the brave few who have clambered out of their tents for the 12.30pm start.

However, the weakness of the lower end of the line-up is best illustrated when comedy cover act The Cuban Brothers – essentially a bunch of breakdancing loons blabbing over old Wham hits – roll out on stage, skates and all, to provide some light hearted relief. Funny it is – top class it is not.

Hercules and Love Affair offer up some funky jazz numbers on the main stage before Mylo pulls on the patriotic heart strings of the locals with his Scotland jersey – circa Italia 90 World Cup.

But it’s more than just his choice of garb that is going down well, as his mix of adrenalin-inducing beats gets the crowd jumping. With master poise, he manipulates the audience into a frenzy as he slowly removes the bass from his offering before slamming it back down to produce a flare of excitement in the pit in front.

Saturday is all about the dance acts but there is a smattering of guitar bands for the indie fathiful to mull over.

Mystery Jets get a cheer for new single 'Two Doors Down' but their moment of the day is an eloquent version of Camera Aztec’s 'Somewhere In My Heart'.

The Twang, Calvin Harris and The View are also winning big-time with the crowd but they can’t come close to competing with Fatboy Slim.

The pond of people who had been stood outside Stage One for most of the day suddenly swell into a huge body, big enough to rival the vast loch behind Mr Cook’s decks.

And their sudden deluge is well timed as the DJ smashes off a string of euphoric numbers including a 10-minute version of 'Right Here, Right Now' and 'Monster' by The Automatic, in tribute to the creature beneath the waves to his rear.

Sunday sees another line-up, that while lacking in A-list credentials, is full of quality.

Jyrojets, Das Pop and Red Light Company are three of the under-card success stories that should expect a bright future after this showing.

Now, as Glasgow boys, The Dykeenies are afforded a little more cheek – or in Glaswegian parlance, gallus – in their on-stage performance than non-Scots and this is why no-one calls them out for their caddish behaviour as they beg the female contingent in the crowd to bare all.

Thankfully for all that is good and decent – Rockness is a family festival after all – the new-wavers’ request is not taken up and so the boys are forced into the old arse-licking tactics of all Scottish bands playing on home soil as they even propose an invasion of England.

They seem confident – even boasting that they could take Newcastle – but it remains unclear just how five lads in skinny jeans and this assorted lot of festival-goers would achieve such a feat.

Next on is The Cribs and after a chaotic opening number of 'Our Bovine Public' the Wakefield trio pull it together for a fervent set that includes 'Hey Scensters' and 'I’m Alright Me'.

Editors tee-up the headliners Razorlight in a smash and grab show that sees the Birmingham four-piece batter through their repertoire with little more than a word on the weather between songs.

And it was a good job too as the Main Stage crowd, while appreciative of Tom Smith and Co’s efforts, are here to see one man and one man only.

Mr Burrell enters the stage, as normal, after the rest of his colleagues have already appeared but his trademark white jeans are no-where to be seen as the frontman preferrs a more mundane look, consisiting of black jeans, grey shirt and black jacket.

Even a wreath of flowers wrapped round his neck and a pair of John Lennon sun-specs can do nothing to disguise what looks like a decidedly more muted outfit that we are accustomed to with Johnny.

Does this signal a change in his onstage performance?

Well, no, he still ends-up half-naked and looks like he is making love to the mic as he hits all the right notes in 'America', 'Golden Touch' and 'Stumble and Fall'.

However, it must be said that the vocal gymnastics he’s displaying during 'In the City' do touch on the embarrassing.

Closing with an encore that includs 'To the Sea' and 'Somewhere Else', the London rockers skip off stage to a firework display and thunder clap of applause.

Now, if only Rockness organisers can add some lightening to the lower end of the running order then Nessie may be encouraged to pop her head out for a look.