School Fields 2002

Opinions on the Schooldisco phenomenon are largely divided into 2 camps - Phwoar and Euugh. Reactions to the announcement of a day long outdoor festival of the same were maybe a little less polarised (an outdoors event seems somehow less seedy than being rammed into the, frankly sweaty Hammersmith Palais), but it was with some trepidation that fully kitted out in a hastily assembled school uniform (even press were not excluded from the indignity) I joined the young-at-hearts and set out towards the home of more than one past indiscretion - Clapham Common.

Like simultaneous gatherings T in the Park and The Big Beach Boutique, the exceptional weather had swelled the numbers of punters and dramatically increased the spirits of those in attendance. Having proven my credentials, been provided with a pass allowing unfettered access both inside and outside the site, and spent time chatting amongst the crowds, my fear of a male-orientated, middle age perv. fest were largely dispelled.

There were the inevitable lecherous lads, and a few greying men who had made a little too much effort, but the vast majority were mid 20's guys and gals out to get pissed, wear silly clothes and hopefully pull as many of the opposite (for this appeared to be an entirely heterosexual event) sex as possible.

Suggs, that perennial purveyor of Channel 5-esque smut, was on hand to oversee the musical offerings. By this point in the proceedings, the alcohol had been flowing to such an extent, that the truly dreadful nature of both support act ABC and headliners The Human League (surely, at £30 a ticket they could have at least got in a cult hero - Jason Donovan perhaps) went largely unnoticed.

The event was saved however, by a truly cult collective. The rainbow characters, including the remarkably ageless Jeffrey, but sadly no Jane, bungled (and zippied) their way through a polished and amusing routing. More Student Union than School Disco, the choice of cheesy, hits went down a storm - those actually responsible for the music erring on the right side of irritability.

Schoolfields, 6/10 for effort, B+ for achievement