Virtual Festivals Desktop Alerts Skinker
 


menu 1
festivals
artists
gallery
interact
competitions
Buy your gear online and collect it at the festival!
info
info
log-in
advertising
menu 1
Online Festival Market
QUICK LINKS

Glastonbury

Latitude

Reading

Leeds

V Festival

T in the Park

Isle of Wight

Foundation

Download

Creamfields

HI:FI

Beautiful Days

Bestival

Guilfest

Global Gathering

O2 Wireless

Womad

The Big Chill

Get Loaded

All upcoming events


Official partners:
Glastonbury Festival - Official Website
A Greener Festival
Latitude - Official Website
Download Festival - Official Website
Get Loaded in the park - Official Website
Beautiful Days Festival - Official Website
Wireless Festival - Official Website
HI:FI North & South - Official Website
Global Gathering - Official Website
Creamfields - Official Website
Audience - for the live music industry


V Festival Rantin' 2006

20 August 2006

V Festival may be a utopian music paradise to a festival virgin or the less initiated, but feed its fare to someone who's been to 50+ outdoor speakerthons and sometimes it's more than the dirt that gets under the fingernails...

Please click on a photo to enlarge it...

Weston Park is a quagmire. Not quite of Glastonbury proportions – there’s no freeflowing sewage just yet – but it’s stickier than a tent full of hormonal football thugs dancing to Girls Aloud. More of which later. So what will it be – Carling or Carling? Rat’s piss or cold porridge with a used condom floating in it? Your ‘choice’.

There’s mud on the tracks, poo on the seats and rain in them there clouds. Thank fuck for Girls Aloud. For Radiohead. For Pure Reason Revolution, Oceansize and of course JD and DMs. Welcome to V.

If there’s one thing that a decade of festival going should teach you, it’s that these evil corporates like to rape you. Not in the physical sense - that would be illegal  but in the fiscal sense; truly, madly, deeply. Where the likes of Glastonbury and Truck charge you fair entry fees and give you free time sheets, programmes and shuttle buses, V really does take the piss with its £7.50 shuttle service and time cards for a tenner. But you stupid people who spend the weekend whinging to the likes of us just accept it, and while you do so, it will continue. Yes.

The same can be said for the likes of Dogs and The Rifles who kick off Saturday’s proceedings on the Channel 4 Stage following the Road To V winners. It’s dross and you accept it because you’re sold it and because the nice folk at Major Label X run big ads everywhere and bribe journos to tell you it’s the new whatever. Dogs look like the ugly ones who failed at the Busted auditions. Skinny suits and sub-Rakes dross they do well but songs? Not one. The Rifles similarly and doling out the same non-descript mod-shite that’s been splashing the pavements of dirty north London these past four years. Still, between them they manage to get people dancing.

Luckily, The Dandy Warhols are on hand on the Virgin Mobile Stage to add some semblance of class to the dregs of the day. Courtney Taylor looks miserable as sin as the rain splutters across the likes ‘We Used To Be Friends’. Maybe he feels traitorous being here, after all it’s Virgin Mobile not Vodafone sponsoring the day. Things inevitably pick up as ‘Bohemian Like You’ brings in the burger munching masses collecting around the edges, and the site of Dandys’ keyboardist bouncing around brings out a brief ray of light while everyone waits for Sugababes.

Now, a friend of a friend once claimed to have received oral pleasure from a Sugababe back in the day. It could go someway to explain the distinct lack of any aural pleasure bestowed upon us today  but regardless of such incidentals, Sugababes prove the first great hit of the weekend. With their UK Garage roots well and truly buried, it’s deviant, no-holds-barred pop sass silliness that only the most cretinous indie snob would dismiss. Push the fucking button indeed.

We refuse to watch Lily Allen on account of her reminding us of that pig-like Stacey from Eastenders. We end up watching something much, much worse however, as the crushing rain forces us into the JJB tent to protect our chips from getting cold. We endure Imogen Heap. It’s retard backing-tracked indie dirge sung by a lezza wth a Mohawk and a keyboard/drum machine thingie. Imagine Mel C with a synthesizer and a slightly posher accent but with one zillionth of the charisma. Apparently she’s ‘big’ on Myspace and did the theme song to the Narnia movie. Well. That was a good film wasn’t it?

Earlier in the day security had foiled our attempts to firebomb James Morrison by declaring that our bottle of petrol needed to be less than half a litre. Doh. Seeing several kids throwing their 2 litre bottles of cider over unsecured portions of the fence we applaud accordingly. Where there’s a system, there’s a way round it.

And the band that demonstrate this best at V is Oceansize. It’s frontman Mike’s 30th birthday so to celebrate they bring on another guitarist for one of the songs, making a total of four and proving that they are the only true rock band of the weekend.

Best band of the day that don’t play every song in stupid time signatures has to be Gomez who seem to have done an Embrace and returned from the dead after being dropped by Virgin. They’ve made their best album in years with new LP ‘How We Operate’ and, inside a rammed JJB tent, bring back the glorious nineties years with the now familiarly tripped out reworking of ‘Whipping Piccadilly’. Sublime.

The pop-filled prissiness of Delays seems to go down a treat, much like Rufus Wainwright, who, though devoid of his big band theatrics, still manages to be more camp than Chelmsford and Stafford put together. What? Someone’s used that already? Well get you then. A little meandering at times – such is the nature of his voice – songs like ‘Vibrate’ and ‘The Gay Messiah’ manage to retain much of their beauty and ‘The Art Teacher’ – a first person narrative from a girl in love with her art teacher - remains one of the greatest songs of the last decade. Rufus the Baptist indeed.

With the rest of the evening devoted to Weller, Moz and The Charlatans, anyone wanting to see an actual band born after 1960 is left with two choices, cockface and pals (Razorlight) or the Superdoopa Coopa Troopa Temple Clause who naturally are most angry not to be at Reading and throw all kinds of destructive rock shapes. They are wonderful and we truly regret not staying to watch all their set because watching Morrissey is like waxing tongue hair.

Despite a sprightly opening triplet feature Smiths classic ‘Panic’, 2004 smash ‘First Of The Gang To Die’ and recent single ‘You Have Killed Me’ it quickly becomes clear that old Moz has nothing else on his mind but pure old commercialism. The dreary set revolves almost entirely around his rather mediocre new record. During a midset lull which drops to new levels of dullness with b-side ‘Ganglord’ (with the immortal line ‘get back to the ghetto’ repeated over and over) only a firy closer of ‘How Soon Is Now?’ saves it from total washout. Whilst bemoaning radio stations not playing new single ‘In The Future When All’s Well’, we’re treated to big screen ads and Moz imploring us to send a £1.50 texts to help it chart. You see that Moz? Two icy cold fingers showing you the V.



- Click here to discuss this on the Festival Forums!
Page 1 of 2 Next Page

Article by: Andrew Future

MORE REVIEWS
Our Dream Summer Winner's V Festival Blog
V Festival 2006 - JJB/Puma Arena
V Festival 2006
V Festival 2006 - Virgin Mobile Union Arena
V Festival 2006 - Bacardi B-Live
V Festival 2006 - Main Stage
V Festival 2006 - Channel 4 Stage
V Festival 2005
V Festival 2005 - Volvic Stage
V Festival 2005 - Channel 4 Stage
V Festival 2005 - Main Stage
V Festival 2005 - JJB/Puma Arena
Take part in the V Festival survey!
The Strongbow Rooms @ V Staffs
V Festival 2005: Bacardi B-Bar
V Stage and NME Stage - Sunday (Chelmsford)
JJB and Music Choice - Sunday (Staffs)
V Festival 2004
V Stage and NME Stage - Saturday (Chelmsford)
JJB and Music Choice - Saturday (Staffs)
V Festival 2003: Staffordshire
V Festival 2003
V Festival 2003: Chelmsford
V2002
V2002 - Saturday, Main Stage (Staffordshire)
V2002 Staffordshire - Sunday Review
V2002 - JJB Arena
V2002 Review - In GERMAN!
V2001 Chelmsford Review - Sunday
V2001 Chelmsford
V2001 Chelmsford Review - Saturday
V2001 Review - Introduction
V2001 Review - Official Overview

More info on
V Festival
V Festival - Staffs 2006
V Festival - Chelmsford 2006


 TICKET SEARCH:
 


MORE REVIEWS

Our Dream Summer Winner's V Festival Blog

V Festival 2006 - JJB/Puma Arena

V Festival 2006

V Festival 2006 - Virgin Mobile Union Arena

V Festival 2006 - Bacardi B-Live

V Festival 2006 - Main Stage

V Festival 2006 - Channel 4 Stage

V Festival 2005

V Festival 2005 - Volvic Stage

V Festival 2005 - Channel 4 Stage

V Festival 2005 - Main Stage

V Festival 2005 - JJB/Puma Arena

Take part in the V Festival survey!

The Strongbow Rooms @ V Staffs

V Festival 2005: Bacardi B-Bar

V Stage and NME Stage - Sunday (Chelmsford)

JJB and Music Choice - Sunday (Staffs)

V Festival 2004

V Stage and NME Stage - Saturday (Chelmsford)

JJB and Music Choice - Saturday (Staffs)

V Festival 2003: Staffordshire

V Festival 2003

V Festival 2003: Chelmsford

V2002

V2002 - Saturday, Main Stage (Staffordshire)

V2002 Staffordshire - Sunday Review

V2002 - JJB Arena

V2002 Review - In GERMAN!

V2001 Chelmsford Review - Sunday

V2001 Chelmsford

V2001 Chelmsford Review - Saturday

V2001 Review - Introduction

V2001 Review - Official Overview


RELATED NEWS

UK Festival Awards 2006: VOTE NOW!

V Festival Going Global

Best Headliners Of 2006? YOU decide!

V Festival 2007 Tickets On Sale Now!

Wet Weekend For V Festival

Now Red Ken Wants To Be At 'V'

Eastenders star given the 'V'

Early Warnings For V Festival Goers

Win Tickets To Top Sold Out Festivals!

V Festival Completes Lineup


INTERVIEWS

The Presets

The Charlatans - Tim Burgess

Boy Kill Boy

Nine Black Alps

'Dream Summer' winner: Kirsty Hunt

Sam Hardaker @ The Strongbow Rooms

The V Festival interview: Keane

The Crescent, backstage @ V2002

Leaves, backstage at V2002

Ian Brown - Not Made of Stone!

Bjorn Again Interview Backstage at V2000


FEATURES

Going Green At Festivals Via The Web

Download 'Road To V' Podcast

'V To V': A Year With The Young Knives

Bombay Bicycle Club interview

Keith interview

Dogs' Guide To V Festival

Bombay Bicycle Club Win 'Road To V'!

'Road To V' Winners Announced Tonight!

'Road To V' Finalists Revealed!

Breakfast In Bed at V Festival!

The Young Knives For Pre-V Gigs

V Festival Unveils Fourth Stage

The 'Average Festival Goer' revealed

'Road To V' goes live! Read the reaction..

Get free tickets to Road to V Gigs!

'Road To V' - Meet The 14 Finalists!

Last call for new bands to open V Festival

Festival Bands of 2006

UK Festival Awards - The Reaction

The Strongbow Rooms 2005 roundup

The A-V guide to V Festival

Help Make Trade Fair at V Festival

The Strongbow Rooms @ V Festival

Be part of the first ever Festival Census!

Top 20 essential festival items

The Strongbow Rooms back for 2005!

The A-Z List of 2004

Get Festival Alerts on your Desktop NOW!

Virtual Festivals are Recruiting!

VF Meets The Strongbow Rooms Man

Strongbow Rooms - back at the festivals for 2003

New Virtual Festivals Chat Room!

Music festival listings 2003 - get your festival noticed


MORE INFORMATION

V Festival

V Festival - Staffs 2006

V Festival - Chelmsford 2006


© 2006 Virtual-Festivals.com Ltd. All rights reserved. Technology by: Dijit New Media

Upcoming Festivals
News
Reviews
Interviews
A-Z Listings
Festival Survival
Store
Tickets
Travel
Camping Gear
Merchandise
Ringtones
Digital Downloads
A-Z Listings
Gig Reviews
Interviews
Features
Message Boards
Desktop Live Alerts
Register / Update membership details
Info
Press Releases
Market Traders!
Advertising and Sponsorship
About Us
Contact Us
Join Our Team!
Links
Media Policy
Privacy Policy

HOME


|


INFO


|


MESSAGE BOARD

Info
V Festival Information - Hylands Park
V Festival Information - Weston Park
how to get there