"Has there ever been such a wanton display of festival frivolity?" we hear you gasp.
Yes, last year, but this time round you could get to see the likes Muse, Radiohead, Kaiser Chiefs, Fatboy Slim, Babyshambles, and Gnarls Barkley - they weren't even born last year!
You could even get to win BEER too!
Click here to stand the chance of winning a pair of tickets to either V Festival (either?!) to see the likes of Kasabian, Radiohead, Bloc Party and Beck, as well as maybe hearing Paris Hilton wailing from the VIP bar (Apparently posh people reckon she's quite talented). All you have to do is fill out a questionnaire, how simple!
Click here and you could be heading to Reading or Leeds to join Muse, Arctic Monkeys, Franz and Eddie Vedder hangin out in the new bands tents, being wowed by the likes of rising stars Tapes'N'Tapes and Mumm Ra, while Slayer play frisbee with Edith Bowman and the park authorities try to track down a certain Wolfmother.
Click here and perhaps one day you'll be able to tell your grandkids about the time you were part of festival history. "I was there and we larged it dears". Be part of Creamfields' moving party and dance in stunning countryside rather than on an airstrip. The Prodigy, Goldfrapp will both be digging it, while The Zutons will ensure a scouse homecoming. There's an MP3 in it too!
Click here and you could witness another slice of history - Pete Doherty being on time and coherent for a festival. Err, could be. Whatever, Get Loaded In The Park promises to be the best yet, with loads of old skool comeback shnizzle, like Adamski, N-Joi, Grame Park, Buzzcocks and loads of new stuff like Lily Allen and The Chalets. Like timetravel on grass.
Click here and you might be larging it at South West Four, the biggest gathering of hip-swinging wrong'ns seen on Clapham Common since that Tory MP got busted trying to make friends with badgers. Tongy, Oakey, The Judge, Coxy and my mate Gary will all be there, so ensure you give them lots of winks.
Click here and you might be drinking beer - and it will be free! And not just any beer, no beer from the bars at Tennents Vital, Belfast's biggest festival where the Kaisers will doing something riotous no doubt and Snow Patrol will be doing something less riotous. Nothing to do with the beer, it's just because they're musicians. In fact, their beer might not even be free.
Good luck!! My fingers are so crossed I'm finding it difficult to type, so I'll stop.