Planet Of Women bounce on stage sounding like AC / DC fronted by Patti Smith, three hot dancer/singers and an old-school 80s power rock group forming the perfect combination to start the day.
But Crash Diet soon dampen the party ... with their barnets. More hair than Crüe judging poodles at Crufts and arse-tight comradery is all they've got going for them. As original as a wrinkle cream ad, they'd be best off getting back on the cover band circuit as an '80s cock rock outfit.
Just A Word are almost just that. Two rappers and a rhythm section is all they have and they sound like a happy shopper House Of Pain. Neither rapper seems comfortable and there’s no clarity on who should lead. At times it is literally cringe-worthy. At the end they throw out CDs. No one jumps or scrambles for them. Point made.
Things are different when Slunt take the stage. With two beautiful girls and big heavy guitars, they’re a teenage boys wet dream. They don’t disappoint their greasy young fans. Sleazily sexual (their name comes from 'slut' and 'cunt') but with enough power to bulldoze the whole crowd, they back up image with the music. They even have the nerve to cover Queens Of The Stone Age’s B-side, ‘Never Say Never’. Songs about drinking and fucking ... brilliant.
Shiny-haired York boys Colour Of Fire fuse fiery multi-layered guitars with bittersweet melodies to little effect in a set best described as ‘lacking’. Lanky vocalist Owen Richards skulks across the stage like a skeletal schoolboy while bassist Thom Craigen paces around like a little boy lost. Disappointing.
Spinal Tap anyone? Forget the fabled fictional band; what you need is a good dose of Tokyo Dragons. Faultlessly entertaining classic rock with cock (no strap-ons here) from Steve Lomax and Co. Stand-out track ‘Get Em Off’ spreads smiles across the crowd in one big beautiful pleasure ripple. Perfectly pretentious.