In Part II of our 'Best and Worst' of Glastonbury 2002 we scoured the festival's nooks, corners and sweaty crannies in search of some ultimate highs and lows.
Worst heckle: whilst passing by the circus field we spotted a BMX riding comedian trying to castrate himself with part of his bike. "Here come's our local drug dealer..." he said to the crowd, as a scruffy type with a carrier bag walked across the front of the stage. With wit, alacrity and clear evidence of drug abuse the said scruff bounced back with a rhetort that must go down as just totally unfathomable - "Oi mate," he said, "Get yer head down!" To this we say - if you're going to heckle the performers then please at least put some effort into being comprehensible.
Best wake-up remedy for the night before: Cold water in the face - nothing can beat this one, no matter how hard you care to try!
Best new act: Simple Kid is from Camden, with a broad trace of Irish. He doesn't like to use his real name. He was playing songs in his bedroom until recently, when his mates came round, turfed him out from under the duvet and persuaded him to do something more prodcutive with his talent. A new single ('Truck On') is due out in the next few months, so listen out for it's haunting hamonica driven intro that builds to a slow back-beat before introducing you to Simple Kid's thoughtful and melodic vocal delivery. When you hear Supertramp's a Superstar then look me straight in the face and tell me that it doesn't belong on Sgt. Peppers!
Worst tent repair: Paul claims that 'this is a lovely tent' - it's just a shame that his love of his tent doesn't extend to spending more than three nanoseconds trying to make good that nasty disfiguring rip.
Best Elvis impersonator: Brian - need we say any more?