Carling Leeds Festival (in funny faces) 01 September 2004
The prettiest, smelliest, ugliest, youngest, wierdest, hairiest, hippiest, best dressed - and we're not talking about the bands! We catch up with some of you to find out what Leeds is all about.
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YOUNGEST:Zachary Taylor Sod 50 Cent and his list of lavish back-stage demands. Meet three-year-old Zac, the most demanding young festival-goer VF has ever come across. Insisting we play 'catch' for over an hour as we battle against brain-splitting hangovers on Saturday morning, the toddling terror then follows us into our tent, drains all our apple juice, before trying to badger us into buying him a cup of tea! We had the pleasure of bumping into him backstage later where he told us: "I want to go on the dodgem cars and then watch The White Stripes." His long-suffering dad was last heard screaming profanities at him on Monday morning.
OLDEST:Howard Marks Well, probably not but he wouldn't give us his age and he's looking pretty old - God knows why. Mr Nice truly is as pleasant as the name suggests and had no probs stopping to have a quick chat backstage. He also never stops smiling - again a real mystery?! He told us: "I live in York so it was just a quick trip down to Leeds. It's good not to be working, as I normally am at these things, it means I can get really drunk, take lots of drugs and swear a lot! I can't wait to see my fellow Welsh bands Goldie Lookin' Chain and the Super Furry Animals, whose guest list I'm on. They're my favourites at the mo."
MOST HAMMERED:Ben Hyde Describing himself as 'Chief Smokesalot' (right) this fella and his mates have been hitting it very hard indeed - but are still standing strong. "We've just been drinking , smoking shit loads, and doing whatever's stupid. We've done about 80 cans of super strength lager since yesterday." Probably up for some fighting then? "We'd do The Streets 'cos they're pussies and have no right to be here." What about The Darkness? "We might give them some respect when their balls drop." Liking Leeds then? "Yeh man, it's the monster truck, the Kylie Minogue, the Havana cigar of festivals!"
SMELLIEST:Rob 'Scooby Doo' May look a bit barking but think about it, it makes doing your festival food shopping a bit easier. Three cans of dog food a day - sorted. We wonder if there's a reason why Rob doesn't give his real surname? Or in fact, just ... why? "I've been like this since Thursday but there's no real reason behind it. I'm just a bit of an idiot. We're camping miles from here so it's a bit tiring on the legs, even though in theory I've got four, and it gets a bit hot. There should be more exits to the campsites. The Offspring should have headlined instead of The Darkness but other than that no complaints."
FRENCHEST: Max Gogo OK, so the French may be better than us in certain respects. They may have the greatest footballers, stunning women, poncier food, and better weather - but their festivals are CRAP. That's according to Max anyway: "We don't have festivals like this in our country. Bands like Green Day and The White Stripes just don't come. People here are more open-minded and wear really cool clothes! The festivals are bigger and better with more stages and there is a really good mix of big and smaller bands. There is also more interaction between bands and the public."