Don’t Panic! The bands that might better Coldplay at Glastonbury Festival 2011

'Coldplay are a painfully sensible choice for Eavis and his crew. I can't imagine they sat scratching their beards too long over that one.'

*Yawn*…who would’ve guessed it eh? Coldplay return to headline the Glastonbury Pyramid Stage in 2011, leaving me with a dull ache in my stomach, rather than a rush of blood to the head. Michael Eavis seems chuffed, as usual. Having backed Coldplay throughout their career it’s not surprising he’s calling it their “triumphant return” …for the third time.

So, obviously I’m not that impressed. Don’t let me be misunderstood; Coldplay have their worth. They are a band that is capable of repeatedly filling stadiums and have a large enough back catalogue to keep fans entertained for the two to three hour slot. Their sound has progressed into the atmospheric, reverb-filled mush that you automatically associate with the word ‘Arena’. But it is a painfully sensible choice for Eavis and his crew. I can’t imagine they sat scratching their beards too long over that one.

Anyway, enough about Britain’s favourite boredom agents, let’s see who they could be up against. Well firstly, there’s Beyonce. She may not be everyone’s first choice for a headliner, but the overwhelming controversy/success of Jay-Z and repeatedly formulaic approach to selecting the line-up now dictates an appearance of a similar ilk. However, she will undoubtedly put on a great show and may be the weekend’s most memorable headliner.

Following their cancellation, everybody is expecting U2 to make an appearance on the Friday of this year’s festival. Only time will tell on that one, but can the Pyramid stage support the egos of Chris Martin and Bono?

Don’t panic! There is some hope! Following a fantastic year with the success of their third album, Arcade Fire are also tipped to be playing. The seven-piece menagerie can fill a stage with ease, and having gained a reputation for their live shows following a triumphant UK tour, they should expect a warm welcome. They are reaching greatness and one good gig at Glasto could make it all happen.

Much-loved favourites, R.E.M. have a new album about to hit the airwaves. This always sets chins wagging but have they been here one too many times? More of a stand-alone band than a festy favourite, but a solid choice nonetheless.

The Chemical Brothers could bring the party back to Glastonbury, and with big reunion gigs on the cards for the 90’s legends Pulp after 15 years apart, both bands could inject some life into the line-up. Two choices that could go either way, but I have a feeling Jarvis Cocker’s onstage antics and The Chemical Brothers timeless party tunes wouldn’t let us down! 

Every dog has its day, and unfortunately bloated public school rejects The Libertines refuse to believe they have had theirs…possibly making an appearance if Pete can keep his nose out trouble for long enough.

If you want my opinion, stick to the smaller stages and go sniff out an undiscovered gem or dance the night away to the sounds of mad hippies shaking their stuff. After all that’s what Glastonbury is really about!